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Showing posts from September, 2018


When you turn 12 and figure out

You are stuck in an elevator with the person on your lock screen who are you stuck with 

I’m not here to play with you, you want better be better you want more 

Laying your head on a cup titties is like sleeping on the floor 

Y’all remember when Al sharpton looked like bone Crusher 

Somebody said Ciara’s son like a Burger King 

Soo my bitch ass neighbors called the police cuz I was smoking on the balcony 

When all you was trying do was watch Maury but then this nigga the pop up 

I’ll suck the nut out my girlfriend pussy & spit 

I hate people that don’t know how to use emojis 

When he nut & his dick still hard oh you got DICK DICK 

This nigga from saw finally got off his tricycle 

when u wanted to talk to her when she wants to talk to u

What is the strangest thing you’ve done for cash 

I was so drunk last night the police pulled somebody over on t.v & I put my beer under the sofa 

If you not trying to be my lawyer like this character right here I don’t want you representing me 

One thing I’ve learned is to stop getting my hopes up for shit that will probably never happen 

I hope you know you’re capable & brave significant 

You can give a person knowledge, but you can’t make them think 

She loyal to you due to her respect and integrity, not because she lacks options 

The usher and missionary starter kit 

How the usher looks at you when you try to come 

Refreshments will be served in the back after service 

Y’all done posted this nigga so much he came alive TF

Don’t tell me I’m working to much and 

When you hear never woulda made it then hear a yes now you crying and dk why 

When the sermon was about you but don’t wanna go up for alter call 

Using the aisle as a runway during tithe & offering time 

We be in there 6+ hours regular Sunday’s but when football season start we be out quick 

How ushers lead somebody back to they seat after they done shouting 

The preachers kids the most turnt but sit in service like this every Sunday 

Finally leaving church and mom sees a friend

When your mom whoops you in the bathroom and then you back in the sanctuary traumatized 

When your mom whoops you in the bathroom and then you back in the sanctuary traumatized 

When that one lady catch the spirit and start doing laps around the pews 

When they start shouting and somebody next to you catch the ghost 

When the pastor says do we have any visitors and the whole church is looking at you 

When you turn to your neighbor but they’ve already turned to someone else 

Are you carrying any explosives just this bomb pussy 

Truth is men don’t play around about what they want 

Every black girl knows about the socks and shoes 

Pastor I’m not gone hold y’all long my grandma take ya time pastor 

How the ushers look waiting for the pastor to finish his remarks so they can let folk 

You think I can’t live without you ?? 

You deserve some who is obsessed with you anything less just isn’t worth your time 

How some of y’all say you wanna travel the world but are rude as fuck to people 

You flexing, I’m living see the difference 

Growing up in a black church when the pastor says 

Getting carried off to get whooped in the bathroom for acting up during service 

Out here getting financially jumped like

The only part of parenting scarier than childbirth 

If I sweat you I need equal sweating energy from you bitch we a sweat suit